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[Year in Review] 2012

Kittiwake Logo Black Background

When years start passing like weeks they say it is a sign of getting old. What happens when they start doing that when you’re only 26 and look younger?

Oh well…

2012 has been a year from Hell for so many for a variety of reasons. It was also my first full year of operation as a registered independent business… fuck!

All things considered I haven’t done too badly though there have been many setbacks that alas have got in the way of how things are progressing.

Book Releases
It has been a slow year for book releases consisting mostly of my reprints of the History Farce Series

Classic Core Cover

Classic Edition Front

Classic Edition Front

Weird and Wonderful CE Front

Of course out of this scramble to give existing books a facelift and a proper ISBN I also came up with this little gem

Slang Front Cover

More general Sourcebooks like this seem like a good idea: Not only to spread the reach of the History Farce series but to educate people on how very close to that nasty world 300 years ago we are today.

Of course I did manage to squeeze in another full game too…

WBH Front Cover

There’s plenty of potential in what one reviewer calls “a VERY rules light system” (seriously meet my mate Grim, he writes full games in 2 pages) and I hope to be getting back to it shortly with Fantastic Femmes.

Amazon Distribution
The main reason behind the reprints was that I wanted to build up my author profile with lots of proper shiny ISBNs. The result is below…


Both EPub and Kindle Formats remain a right royal pain in the arse to use however I am gradually managing it to the point where I am seriously considering EPubing game books too albeit without the fancy formatting or most of the artwork. Do let me know what you think of this idea.

Third Party Publishing
My editing skills have made a real improvement this year thanks mainly to two very talented new authors who let me loose on their work. Do check them out!

How To Lose Friends and Anihilate People

From the Mind of UJames1978

Oh yes these… exist…

Seriously though… they may not all have professionally painted pretty pictures yet but these figures are worth a look for the novelty if nothing else…


Fame and Fortune on Teh Internetz
My Review Show Is It Awesome? has found a new home on I know I know it funds a fascist American Political Party but…
1) It’s the only decent site left that understands what “Fair Use” means.
2) I’d have just as much of a problem with it funding the other lot as they are equally deplorable.

Anyhow it isn’t bringing in that much in revenue yet (keep watching) but it is fun to do and helps establish a weekly routine that helps with managing my chronic insanity.

Header Graphic

The Taxman Cometh
Not nearly as scary a prospect as you’d think, particularly when your turnover and profits are so low they actually give you the OPTION of not paying National Insurance. Needless to say I pay it: That’s right Propertarian Lunatics out there I PAY MORE TAX THAN I AM REQUIRED TO. Why? Because I believe in living in a civilised nation with universal healthcare and adequate poverty relief.

Speaking of Which…

This year in British Politics will go down in history regardless of if we have a future as a civilised nation or not. Between the re-legalisation of Slavery, the stealth dismantling of the NHS and the ongoing act of mass murder now commonly referred to as the ATOS Genocide we’re clearly at a crisis point from which there is no return. Keep up with my personal fight via the activism tag on this blog.

Atos Hollocaust

Personal Disappointments
It is a wonder that I and the various freelance professionals I work with have got anything done this year at all with the situation on both the micro and macro scale world wide getting so utterly stark bollockingly crazy but there are a couple of big disappointments for me.

Fore-mostly my inability to get either CID: Coppers In Disguise or The Scandal Sheets of Sally Sill Volume I remotely close to finished. This is totally the fault of me and my own personal “fuckbrain” issues as Grim would call them. I’ll try and get them done soon.

The other thing bugging me is the ongoing delay of my first comic Kittiwake Girl: The Beginning #1. Dale is the best man for the job and what he has done so far has proved that beyond a doubt however his own issues in this year from Hell have put us behind schedule and delayed my introduction to the world of comics… sorry about that.

My intention for 2013 is best summed up by that infamous Troll of a British politician Winston Churchill. KBO=Keep Buggering On. I’ll do my damnedest to get you lovely fans as much new material as I can muster and hope you bear with me through the oncoming storms of both my personal and political situation.

Best wishes



[Activism] This Looks Promising…

“If you want something done in this country you have to complain until you’re blue in the mouth”- John Cleese

It seems like her Majesty’s Opposition have something brewing… or at least one of them does…

Here’s my reply from Michael Meacher MP

Dear Mr Warner,

Many thanks for contacting me with details about your experiences with ATOS. I am extremely sorry to learn how badly you have been treated.

It is my intention to build up a dossier of cases such as your own which I can make use of in the future to argue for radical changes to the present unfair and incompetent system. In particular, I will be calling for a full Parliamentary debate on ATOS through the procedure of the Backbench Business Committee and I am also seeking a meeting with the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Iain Duncan Smith MP.

As you are not one of my own constituents, I will not be able to take up your individual case with your local agencies I’m afraid, as this must be carried out by your own MP. But it would be very useful to make use of your experiences when I make representations about the ATOS system as a whole.

Can you kindly confirm that you would be happy for me to use your details in this way? Also, would you be willing to be contacted in the event of any interest from the press or broadcast media?

Many thanks.

Yours sincerely,

Michael Meacher MP

Of course I replied in the affirmative: I doubt the response we will get will be anywhere near what is needed to draw a line under disability rights forever but this is a start. Mitt Romney famously claimed to have “binders full of women” well now Mr Meacher seems to be gathering “Binders full of Crimes Against Humanity” I hope against hope it buries the Tories in all parties for good.

[Activism] Letter To Michael Meacher MP


Dear Mr Meacher

After your so called Shadow Minister for the Disabled’s shabby performance in recent days which has led to a complete collapse of trust in your party by the vast majority of the disability rights movement (again) I’m glad to hear you are calling for stories of ATOS/DWP abuse and suggestions for how to remedy the situation.

I have been in frequent correspondence with my own MP David Burrowes (Conservative: AKA the British Rick Santorum) which I have published HERE

I also emailed Mr Byrne before his shambles of a non addressing of the issue HERE

If he had read the thing instead of directing me to your rather pathetic “make up our policies because we can’t be bothered” website all of this could have been avoided and you could well have obliterated your opponents by now.

My personal story is somewhat boring an not nearly as shocking as those of my colleagues in the Black Triangle Campaign because I have (just about) the means to work around the problems these criminals have caused me and every disabled person in this country. You can find it in this YouTube Video

The full details of the crimes of Maria Miller, Ester McVey, Iain Ducan Smith, Chris Grayling and the multinational gangsters both your party and they have sold our disabled to are detailed on the Black Triangle Website in addition with the help of some armchair lawyers and my own knowledge of history I have come up with a nuclear option

The facts people like Black Triangle have uncovered just with FOIs and harsh language are more than enough to prove the criminality of these nefarious characters so imagine what a bunch of coppers with search warrants could achieve?

I don’t hold out much hope for what MP can achieve (despite planning to run myself in 2015) but I hope you are serious in challenging this atrocity and bringing all responsible to swift and brutal justice

With Thanks

Ian Warner
Directing Editor
Kittiwake Classics

[Courtesans] First Time for Everything

Court Cov FINAL

I’ve been reading the 18th Century Classic Fanny Hill again recently and it occurred to me that there is a way I could improve the Courtesans rules set slightly…

No its not necessarily to do with sex scenes you delightful perves you…

Instead it is about in-experience. The number of actions the Courtesans system could incorporate is almost limitless and it is somewhat easy to see a situation arising where a Player Character is trying out something for the first time. She’s no mere slip of a girl at 18 but she may not have ever, for example, ridden a horse, or shot a bow or danced around in a giant cream pie

Okay scrap that last one that was weird… but the point is the charmingly awkward first time is both a hindrance and potentially an additional delight for an admirer. As such I present the following optional rule.

First Time for Everything
If she wishes to attempt a Pleasing Action that involves an activity she has never tried before a Courtesan is at a -1 penalty to her Dice Roll. However if she overcomes this penalty and succeeds her Margin of success counts as 1 better than it actually is.

Example: Hazel the Upstart has never ridden a horse before, being a City Girl with everywhere being in walking distance so she’s a little nervous when her Admirer Lord Prescott suggests a ride round his estate. Her initial Prowess roll is at a -1 Penalty however as she still manages to pass the roll by 2 she counts as having Succeeded by 3 taking an additional point of wealth from her lover’s giggling at her tangling herself up in the reins

Click the picture to get yourself a copy of Courtesans: Sex and Society in glorious paperpack goodness!

[Used Books] Update

Another 3 sales here is an updated list

I know times are tough especially for us persecuted disabled folk but I’d really appreciate some more sales

Prices remain

UK Shipping: £12 hardback, £10 Paperback

International Shipping: £15 Hardback £12 Paperback

new World of Darkness
Ghost Stories
Mysterious Places
Urban Legends
Midnight Roads
Shadows of Mexico
Shadows of the UK

Vampire the Requiem
Requiem for Rome
Ancient Mysteries
Ancient Bloodlines

Werewolf the Forsaken
Blood of the Wolf

Promethean the Created
Pandora’s Book

Changeling the Lost

Red Dwarf
Screen (Counts as Paperback)

Traveller (Mongoose Edition)
Babylon 5 (Paperback)

Deadlands Reloaded 1st Edition
The Flood
Coffin Rock (Paperback)

Necessary Evil 1st Edition

D20 Modern
Core Rules
Macho Women With Guns

[Activism] An Email to Liam Byrne

Dear Pleb

Dear Mr Byrne

I like many of my disabled comrades reacted to your change of heart on disability benefit with a cautious optimism. The thought of a mainstream party getting off its collective backside and actually doing something for the disabled people being quietly murdered by a system actively hostile to them is quite appealing but you will understand I’m not entirely convinced of your sincerity until I see some concrete action.

First and foremost DPAC, the Black Triangle and many others have gathered enough evidence for criminal convictions of Iain Duncan Smith, Maria Miller, Chris Grayling and the management of ATOS “Healthcare”. If the shocking hard proof they have gathered with only Freedom of Information Requests and the odd whistle-blower isn’t damning enough imagine what a bunch of real Coppers with Search Warrants would find?

Naturally with the legal system as it is we’ll probably only find something minor like defrauding the public purse but hey they nailed Al Capone for not paying his taxes!

As the disabled have been kicked backwards and forwards between the parties over the past 15 years a criminal investigation and convictions would finally draw a line in the sand that the weakest amongst us are not to be interfered with.

The problem however doesn’t stop there: We need a radical reform of disability benefit to make it easier to claim for the genuine. Your suggestion of combining the DWP and NHS was good but I’d go one step further. I would remove disability benefit from DWP’s clutches altogether.

Let me explain… the DWP are, by unfortunate necessity, callous and cynical pen pushers with very little care for their fellow citizen. However much you may try to train up specialist disability advisers (like the one who suggested I close my claim because the mandatory course she would have to send me on was “basic job seeking for retards”) and encourage a positive atmosphere you will never get that in a Job Centre.

Disability Benefit may, technically, be a pension but it is one that needs extensive medical understanding and compassion. Moving the benefit entirely over to the NHS and having it prescribed like medicine by ACTUAL DOCTORS would not only create a compassionate easy to use system but cut billions off the DWP budget and create a system with next to no chance of fraud.

I hope you find this letter interesting and I encourage you to explore these possibilities further. I have had extensive correspondence with my local MP David Burrowes (aka the British Rick Santorum) which you can find, along with many other bits of campaigning under the activism tag on my blog.

With Thanks

Ian Warner
Directing Editor of Kittiwake Classics

Member of
The Black Triangle Campaign
The Official Monster Raving Loony Party
The Justice Union of the UK (As Mr Fowl)

Founder of
The People’s Court of Government Corruption

Contact details
Redacted for security

[Activism] A Reply to David Burrowes

ConservativesI got this email from Mr Burrowes

Dear Mr. Warner

Thank you for your e-mail of 26th October, regarding the reforms of ESA.

Reforming benefits is, of course, a difficult and important task. The government is taking every precaution to ensure that the new benefits system will provide the improved support that the weakest in our society need.

In your e-mail you helpfully attached a striking statistic showing the number of claimants leaving ESA with a recorded date of death. Having researched the issue, that FOI request paper states that this ‘represents about 1% of total ESA caseload in November 2011, the latest caseload now available.’[p. 6] This is a significant increase on the normal death rate, but the FOI request does explain that ‘It would be expected that the mortality rate amongst those on incapacity benefits recipients would be higher than the general population as some people receive incapacity benefits due to life-threatening conditions or terminal illness. Those in the Support Group [who make up 7,100 of the 10,600 mentioned in the table] receive unconditional support due to the nature of their illness, which can include degenerative conditions, terminal illness and severe disability.’[p.4]

You refer to the recent complaints made to the UN. Esther McVey (Under-Secretary of State for Work and Pensions) addressed this in the House of Commons, on 5th November. Specifically with reference to disabled people, she said that the Government’s welfare reform ‘fully conforms with the UN right. In fact, we are a world leader in that regard.’ [Hansard: 5th November 2012, Column 573] The Government is utterly committed to maintaining this world-leading standard.

Thank you again for writing to raise your concerns.

Best wishes


My reply is short but brutal: I have had it with these people.

Dear Mr Burrowes

Let us not kid ourselves: These are not reforms these are cuts. There was no need to reform a system with a 99.9995% success rate and you are now paying more money to the fraudsters at ATOS than you are to the disabled.

Still the government persists in using the fraudulent system of Unum Insurance rather than genuine medical professionals and still people are dying every day having been found “fit for work”

Worst still those “Fit for Work” now are as sanction-able as the able bodied when it comes to turning up for appointments at the Job Centre regardless of reasoning and are just as eligible for the SLAVERY of the Workfare scheme.

Workfare is not just an abomination against basic human rights as a businessman I see it as practically undermining the economy. Why pay for workers when you can get them free from the government? There are hundreds of cases of people being sacked from minimum wage jobs only to be put back in the same job under Workfare slavery. Most of my market is the poorest in society. If they can’t afford my stuff I suffer as well. May be not as much but my savings can’t last forever.

My ancestor William Wilberforce would be spinning in his grave at what your party are doing to our own citizens: He fought to the detriment of his own health to stop these kinds of abuses only for the so called Supreme Court to turn round in 2012 and declare slavery legal again.

Not only that but having identified my escape route from your attempt to enslave the working man you are now planning on increasing surveillance of the self employed. There is some dishonesty when it comes to tax amongst us yes but far less than there is amongst the huge companies that not only bankroll all 3 political parties but profit from the poverty they create.

Seeing as there seems to be a cross party consensus that slavery and stealth genocide are a-okay and that this is, thanks to our criminally undemocratic election process, a safe Tory seat my vote doesn’t count for much but rest assured it won’t be for you or any mainstream candidate.

I pity your pathetic defence of the indefensible

In Faith

Ian Warner

[Activism] A REAL Case for Treason

Execution of Charles I L_tcm4-559504

Many of you familiar with internet conspiracy theories will be aware of Albert Burgess’ Case For Treason. I have a lot of respect for people standing up for what they think is right but Burgess’ understanding of History and Law is well below that of an A Level history student.

The act of joining the EU was not Treason. Love it or loathe it our EU Membership is legal and provides safeguards against the excesses of extremist governments (hence why the current genocidal Tories want to leave ASAP.)

What is treason however is taking money from powers (foreign or domestic) hostile to the interests of the British people. The above illustration shows sentence being carried out on one such traitor Charles Stewart who took money from the Papal Emissary to fight a war against the English people. This is one of many counts he was guilty of but being found guilty of just one it would have been much the same result.

But this is just ancient history right? No not so ancient… take a look at this ugly mug.


This is William Joyce aka Lord Haw Haw. The Nazi government hired him for his distinctive upper class English voice which they employed for propaganda purposes.

He was found wandering round an obliterated Berlin drunk and still broadcasting by the Soviet Army who handed him over to British custody. He was convicted of treason on the grounds that, you guessed it, he took money from enemies of the British people.

Almost every member of the present day House of Commons has taken lobbying money of some kind and some of these lobbyists are truly despicable people with horrific agendas contrary to the interests of the British Commonwealth.

From the Private “Healthcare” companies chipping away at our NHS, to rogue states including Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, the USA and Israel that drag our overstretched (and over funded) armed forces all over the place to their interests not ours.

I have long known of this corruption but I barely gave it much thought until an incident so vile and inexcusable woke me from this slumber. What is now being commonly known as the ATOS Genocide as the DWP’s death toll rises with each passing day.

Surely it is time that we prosecute these traitors (that is what they are) for taking such blatant bribes to rob, torture and kill the people they are supposed to be representing? Gaddaffi allegedly killed about 5,000 civilians and Lybia got invaded. The DWP killed 10,600 in 10 months and nobody gives a shit.

I’m not a lawyer I’m a historian so I may be hazy on some details.

I do know since 1997 Treason’s mandatory death sentence was reduced to mandatory life imprisonment but to me that is the better punishment. I’m not a humanitarian or anything I just want the guilty to suffer!

With the People’s Court of Government Corruption I shall be exploring these precedents in detail in the hope that someone somewhere is listening and will take the appropriate action to protect our people from the kind of fascist exploitation we see across the Pond.

[Activism] The Work Capability Assessment For Idiots

Atos Hollocaust

I know you’re probably very sick of this by now but it is my life and the life of every other mentally and physically disabled person in this country that’s now on the line.

This is an email sent to the Permanent Under Sectary of the DWP (which strangely still has control over the entirely MEDICAL Disability Benefits System). It would be funny if it wasn’t so terrifying.

Mate, you have been duped, or you are part of the duping!

The Emperor is naked.

You have paid for snake oil.

For all your wriggling and Patronising Margaret Hodge.

Anecdotal evidence.
Uhm. Good job you are not a Mathematician where a theorem is cast aside on 1 anomaly; or a scientist where, whilst the outriders are often dismissed, they can also be the breakthrough into a whole new insight.

Let me explain.

Part 1
Were you to throw a coin to decide if a person were fit for work or not….. we all know 50% chance of getting it right)

Now were you to put the ‘bleedin obvious cripples’ aside (you know, the ones even a Daily Mail reader could identify) and flip the coin for the rest.

What would the stats be like? Pretty accurate?

The decision makers are wrong 70%. No 38%. No X%. No….. of the time.

I can rearrange the Maths for you several ways, if you like, to give very different figures.
All ‘True’.

Let us agree on the lowest possible figure. 15% mistakes. And working towards a target of 5% mistakes.

Remember the Daily Mail reader and the coin, yes well! Very likely pretty similar stats. 85% correct identification. We do not know but…..

And suppose you sent round a couple of bright primary school kids? I’d be willing to bet they’d get the target 95% correct categorization.

So, what we are paying £100 million for, is accuracy, above a coin or a child.

We are not paying for the obvious, we are not paying for the easy to assign, we are paying for the difficult to assess cases.

Part 2
A person as a statistic.

As a teacher, had 85% of a GCSE Maths class gained A* grades…. pat on the back, nay, ecstasy.
On the other hand, had I taken out a school trip and returned with 95%, having lost 5% to crocodiles at the Safari park, no pat on the back.

If I had taken 100 every year, for ten years and I lost 1 to a crocodile… my career might be recoverable.

Do you really not understand the difference?

You are dealing with people’s lives (and deaths). The target should be 0.1% wrong, or less. And the smug ‘well statistically we are doing fine’ is inappropriate even with one mistake, one death.

Suppose it were your life. Can you make yourself imagine the level of pain and anguish you personally would have to be feeling to kill yourself and your children. Go on try…. in pain perhaps, cold, hungry, seeing them cold and hungry, not understanding why you have been told to go to work when you can barely struggle out of bed. How lacking in hope? Can you even imagine it? I can imagine it, I know about it, and it is awful, and I would not wish it on any other human, and I will do everything in my power to protect them.

Shame on you!

Just an anecdote?

If you were brutally murdered that would be anecdotal. Statistically speaking a person is less likely to be brutally murdered than to have their ESA claim cut wrongly. Does that mean the police should dismiss it? Burglary is common so let us concentrate only on that!

Do you really not see how ‘silly’ you are?

Do you really not comprehend data specificity?

Frankly I am beginning to understand why missives from DWP are so commonly nonsense. And why the whole thing seems so shambolic.

You are in charge of £3 billion of my money and resort to glib dismissal of real people. I want someone a bit brighter in the job. I want someone with truth and understanding in the job. I want someone who does not simply bandy statistics but understands data.

One point which really amazes me is that no one in power seems to comprehend that most sick and disabled people want to work. To the discerning, the fact that some people think the unwell are shirkers who lie, is rather less based on fact and rather more a reflection on their own character? Had £100 million a year been spent on a voluntary scheme to aid people into work, I fully believe, it would have been very much more successful.

Now! You are losing 15 children to crocodiles every trip, can you understand why no one wants to go? And what are you going to do about it?


Ah sod it!