Tag Archives: fail

[Website Issues] Well Shit…

I have no mouth

It appears that this blogging platform is about to shut down for good meaning I’m going to have to find a new official site for the company.

It could be worse… I have at least got the Facebook pages and I have been meaning to spring clean all the satellite sites down to one but its unfortunate that so many are going to find broken links in my existing products.

I shall keep you all informed of the move (wherever I end up!) and I’ll be sure to archive everything from all of Kittiwake’s blogs.


[Activism] Open Letter to David Burrowes MP on ATOS and the Right to Die

Annoy A Conservative

Dear Mr Burrowes

Forgiveness is something I have always found difficult but through the wise counsel of others I am learning that even in these harsh times it is by far the most productive course of action.

I have made no secret of my strong disagreement with you in the past.

I believe you ran a very spiteful and unfair campaign against our greatest ever MP Mr Twigg that you only really won because of the actions of his (now convicted) war criminal boss.

I have seen you continue in full time employment in conjunction with being an MP which should be the most full time of all full time jobs.

I have also seen you use your political office to further a fundamentalist theocratic agenda that has no place in a civilised nation such as the UK.

Worst of all your ridiculously sized family is not only, doubtless, another full time job in itself but a horrifically bad example in a ridiculously overpopulated nation and indeed world.

All of this I am willing to overlook, however for the greater good of the nation and specifically my people the mentally and physically ill and disabled.

I know you think your colleague Mr Grayling’s “reforms” are part of a “big society” that will see people off the state’s care and into the care of private charity however the fact on the ground is private charity cannot cope with the people it has to care for at the moment let alone millions of our most isolated and vulnerable who’s only recourse is the state.

Worst still his employment of known “outlaw company” (a quote from an “elected” official in the United States, a barbaric land where you have to be stinking rich to get any restitution in law or government) ATOS who’s broken system and heartless employees directly lead to the deaths of some 1200 people is considered an act of wilful genocide on the part of your government and party by a great many disabled people.

As you can imagine your colleague Anna Soubry’s recent comments about the right to die have only inflamed this already red hot rage amongst the disabled.

I understand and I support the right to die debate as of critical importance. Regardless of what side of it you are on it is clear existing laws are woefully out of touch with modern medical technology and the feelings of the people at large. However, now is not the time to have this debate and yours is not the government that should be anywhere near writing the legislation.

Already the disabled live in fear of the ATOS “Gestapo” coming for the paltry sum they are paid and dragging them through confusing, nonsensical kangaroo courts like political prisoners in some third world tyranny: What do you think having this same government many are already calling crypto-fascist talk openly about legalising Euthanasia?

Already the hateful rhetoric and propaganda of some of your colleagues and their media allies has created a general consensus that accepts 32 disabled people dying every week as acceptable.

It won’t take much of a push for people to similarly coldly accept disabled people being “put down” rather than being driven to take their own lives or dying naturally from the stress of the cruel and unusual punishment of the ATOS assessment process.

You pride yourself in your claim to be a Christian Mr Burrowes. Your definition and my definition of what that actually means may well be wildly different but I hope you at least see the value of human life even if it is a human life that is reliant on wider society to survive.

Please at least do all you can to bury this issue in the typical Tory way, if not outright speak out against it: The sick and the dying are calling out to this regime, if they answer with “you have the right to die” they may just snap.

One young Tory said to me quite brazenly “spastics can’t fight back can they?” Of course he’s right that the poor and disabled have few means to do so but there are plenty of rumblings amongst their dependants and carers that combined with the exposure of ATOS crimes past and present could turn very nasty indeed.

In faith

Ian Warner
Directing Editor of Kittiwake Classics
Member of…
The National Autistic Society
The Dyspraxia Association
Republic UK
The Official Monster Raving Loony Party
The Social Welfare Union
The Black Triangle Campaign against Defamation of the Sick and Disabled
The Justice Union of Great Britain (As Mr Fowl)

The most polite hate letter ever sent to the IRS

I thought I’d post this here as well as send it off just for the public record and more importantly the lulz…

To Whom it May Concern

I am a self-published author working through the American web Company lulu.com. I was informed by them that I would have to apply for a tax number and tax exemption under a long standing treaty to avoid paying tax on the few US sales I make.

Having spent hours trying to decipher the frankly ridiculous forms and instructions that they provided for me I sent them my one piece of photo ID (my passport) and completed form. They then, having checked it forwarded it to the IRS office.

That was about 2 months ago and I haven’t heard anything about a tax number or more importantly for a small businessman getting my passport back.

Worst still as you don’t even have anyone but a robot answering your office phone and have no email address (which in this day and age is pathetic) I am forced to write to you directly in a vain hope of getting a response.

I enclose my business card and hope to get an actual response by one of the contact methods listed as to where my passport is, when it’s coming back to me and if I have got this tax number so I can fill in the second form necessary to get my money.

I cannot come into the embassy in person because firstly I have no photo ID because it’s with you and secondly I have a severe disability that means I cannot get very far from home.

I do hope you actually take notice of this letter and respond because I’m annoyed enough at your country’s effect on the world as it is.

Yours Sincerely

Ian Warner
Directing Editor
Kittiwake Classics

Lulu Fail


Due to site maintainance lulu.com will be taking the unprecidented step of SHUTTING THE WHOLE SITE DOWN on March 17th!

The site will be down between 5am and 3pm EDT meaning if you want to buy any books you will have to avoid this window.

If distribution to other outlets was actually working as it should I’d have a list of other links and you could get pretty much anything in the catalogue elsewhere.

[Update] Computer Breakdown


For those of you who aren’t already aware the main computer I use for my work is currently being repaired.

However this does not mean I’m taking a break.

There certainly will not be any more releases until it is fixed but I am using the time to press on with CID, Whore’s Blade Heroics and that sodding novel of mine!

I appreciate your patience in any correspondence if I am not my usual prompt self



P.S: When I get my computer back and everything is properly installed I will be releasing a Mastersilverwolf Stock Art compilatio.

[Used Books] Update

The Updated list. Contact me for details

new Mind’s Eye Theatre
Rites of the Dragon

new World of Darkness
Ghost Stories
Mysterious Places
Urban Legends
Midnight Roads
Shadows of Mexico
Shadows of the UK

Vampire the Requiem
The Blood
Bloodlines: The Hidden
Bloodlines: The Legendary
Belial’s Brood
Requiem for Rome
Ancient Mysteries
Ancient Bloodlines

Werewolf the Forsaken
Blood of the Wolf
The Pure
The Rage
Lore of the Forsaken

Promethean the Created
Pandora’s Book
Strange Alchemies
Magnum Opus
Saturine Night

Changeling the Lost